Opportunities, Beginnings and Endings
My graduate school journey
It was September 16, 2012 when I first landed at LAX and made my way to Irvine, CA that I first got the butterflies. I had been away from home before, but it was there in the tortuously long 2 hour rideshare from Los Angeles to Irvine that the realization hit me that I was some 14000 kilometers away from the world that I had grown up in. I had already made some friends on the flight over, having met up with some fellow graduate students while still at the Mumbai airport, but for the first time in my life I felt a bit alone and a bit scared. I had a place to stay, and friends to talk to, the fear was more of what lay ahead. I didn't notice much of LA that day, being lost in my thoughts. On the way to Irvine we drove past Anaheim, only for the first time in my life, and the signs towards Disneyland jolted me from my thoughts. Here was a familiar name from my childhood, a connection. In the hour that it took to get to Irvine, my fear was gone. That was the last time I was afraid of a new beginning.
Every beginning brings with it new opportunities. A chance to change myself or to express myself, free from long conceived judgements. I still had a lot of growing up to do, a lot to learn. In the years since, I have suffered, failed, succeeded, failed again, and succeeded again. I've faced many situations, some dangerous life threatening, and some milder. But I've never been afraid of opportunities.
Endings tend to be painful. There's always something that you leave behind, something that you lose. I've been afraid of that pain but never the ending itself. I'd like to think that I'm nearing the end of my graduate school journey. Soon I'll have to make my way out of school and into the real world. I've been there before but always with the knowledge that I'd return to school soon. Now there's no such thought. This time when I leave at the end, it'll be for good. I've made up my mind. Long ago I had dreamed of teaching, but I've grown weary of academia and the simple productiveness of industry appeals more to me now. Maybe in retirement I can try my hand at teaching again. For now, it's forward and beyond.